Sunday, June 10, 2012

Prologue (m)

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That being said, Nagaoka takes his leave and we can all sigh in relief.

Hitomi: "You stupid! What the hell were you thinking?"

Baba: "Yeah! What if we got suspended because of you?"

Meito: "You shut up, idiot Baba! It's all your fault, really!"

Baba: "Me?! You attacked me!"

Meito: "You attacked a girl!"

Baba: "That was none of your business!"

Hitomi: "You should've let Yuu-chan handle it."

Meito: "Stop teaming up against me!"

Yuu: "I think Gotsuji-senpai is right, but even so you have my gratitude for what you did, Oda-senpai."

Meito: "Oh, that was nothing... I just did what a man ought to do."

Yuu: "You risked a lot by intervening, I won't forget it."

Sumomo: "Well, in the end everything was solved without any harm done."

Kuon: "And you all need to thank me for that! Ha ha ha ha!"

Yuu: "Still... I'd prefer you'd refrain from spreading false rumors about my love affairs, Kubota-senpai..."

Kuon: "My dear! That was just a small white lie! A minor evil to achieve a greater good, and it was promptly negated! Your reputation is safe!"

Meito: "Talking about lies, that stuff you said about our punishment was a really nice move."

Kuon: "Ah ha ha ha ha! My dear Oda, that wasn't a lie!"

Meito: "What?! You mean..."

Baba: "No way!"

Kuon: "Of course! I really am in dire need of help! There's a thousand of documents that need to be copied, sorted and cataloged! I'll be waiting for you in the student council after school ends, don't be late!"

Baba: "Eeeh? Me too?"

Kuon: "Of course, my dear Baba!"

Meito: "Wait, wait! I've already promised I'll help someone in the club..."

Kuon: "I will accept no excuses! If you have a previous engagement, just cancel it, it's that simple! Now pardon me, but I have business elsewhere. Be sure to show up at the designated time and place, and don't be late! Ha ha ha ha!"

And laughing like that, he disappears amidst the crowd. I knew I couldn't be that lucky, damn you, Kubota! I bet the very reason he saved us was because he needed some way to blackmail someone into doing the boring job at the student council...

Baba: "Hey! Where's my camera?!"

Yuu: "Here, you can take it back, but you'd better not use it again to take pictures without permission."

Baba: "Aaaah! You deleted all my precious panty shot collection! You'll pay for this! I'll definitely make you pay for this!"

Kagami: "No, you won't! Stupid giant troglodyte!"

When did she get here? She looks quite pissed.

Hitomi: "Yo, Kagamin!"

Yuu: "Hibari-senpai..."

Kagami: "Azuma! What the hell were you thinking?! I told you we have a super special intensive training this afternoon! How could you start a fight with this giant caveman?! Are you stupid?!"

Yuu: "There was no helping it, a first year student was in trouble, I had to help her."

Kagami: "Uggaaah! What's more important, the life of a girl or our super special intensive training?!"

No... she wasn't in any life threatening situation, and at any rate what kind of psycho would say training is more important than a human life? I'd like to tell her, but it's kinda pointless.

Baba: "Hey... how did you just call me?"

Kagami: "I said that you're a stupid caveman troglodyte! And if I hear again you're messing with my club members, I'll be mad!"

The midget against the giant, this could be the match of the century! I'm not sure who would win in a stupidity contest though... probably Hibari.

Baba: "This... bitch!"

Meito: "Hey Baba... did you forget who she is?"

I thought this was the best time to remind him that Hibari is Teramoto's sidekick, and I see my words are having the wanted effect.
It's rare for Teramoto and her groupies to meddle in other people's businesses, they aren't really concerned about maintaining order or fighting bullies. But if you rub one of the members of the inner circle in the wrong way, they won't overlook it. And Baba knows that even if they are all girls, they can make your life here a true hell. If you decide to mess with them, don't be surprised if you'll find your shoes completely ruined, or your desk scribbled all over, or your textbooks lacking several pages. And don't be surprised if everyone will avoid you as if you had contracted a contagious disease. And if you are one of those impressionable guys, then be prepared to find among your stuff unsettling occult symbols and trinkets.
I don't believe in occultism, but even I wouldn't be able to sleep well at night, if I knew Teramoto placed a curse on me.
Baba clicks his tongue and then goes on his way. I doubt he will bother Azuma again.

Sumomo: "Lunch break is almost over, shall we go back to our classroom?"

Hitomi: "Yeah, let's go. See you later, Yuu-chan, Kagamin."

Yuu: "Later."

Kagami: "Don't forget the super special intensive training!"

Hitomi: "Yeah, yeah..."

And so we go back to our classroom, and another boring period begins.

*************************

When I enter inside the student council room, I find it empty.
Well, that's a great start! He stressed so much that he wanted me to be punctual and then he's late! This is so typical of Kubota. Even at the time we used to hang out he was all talks and nothing else. He's never been a reliable person, if he promises you something, you should assume that he will forget about it.
How could such an irresponsible individual become the president of the student council? That's a rhetorical question, of course, I can easily imagine how it happened. Kuon Kubota knows how to advertise himself better than any other person I know, and the system is messed up enough to favor appearance over substance. You may agree or disagree with me, but I think this is the general rule of any democratic political system. One day Kubota will become the prime minister of Japan, and then our country will sink into the ocean.
I wonder how Junko is doing by herself. She's pretty talented so I don't think I need to worry about her, she'll fix her bicycle even without my help, but I still feel bad for not being able to be there.
Sumomo should be in the literature club, I'm not even sure what they are doing there. Do they just read books all the time? That doesn't seem like something you want to do as a group activity.
Hitomi should be in the gym with Hibari, Azuma and the rest of the club. They have that super spec... I mean... they are training.
I hear a sound, someone is coming in. It must be Kubota, finally.

Baba: "..."

Nevermind, it's Baba. This is simply wonderful!
He didn't say a word, I didn't either. We are just two idiots standing in a room and doing nothing.

Baba: "Where's Kubota?"

Meito: "No idea."

This is getting awkward... and pretty tense. You shouldn't leave two people like us in the same room, it's dangerous. The reason we are not talking is because there's a high chance we'll get in each other nerve if we did. And if that happened, we would get in another scuffle for sure.
Lucky the door slams open and Kubota finally makes his triumphant entrance.

Kuon: "Welcome to the student council, my dear Oda and my dear Baba!"

Meito: "We've been waiting here for a while! Were the hell did you go?"

Kuon: "But of course, a man like me is pretty busy, I have many important matters to attend!"

Like hell I'll believe that.

Meito: "Just tell us what we need to do, the earlier we start, the faster we can get it done."

Kuon: "Ha ha ha ha! I like your spirit, my dear Oda! Then open all the boxes that are piled on that corner and bring their contents on this table."

Meito: "All of them?"

Kuon: "All of them!"

Meito: "You can't be serious... what's inside all these boxes? Documents? Do we need that much paperwork done in this school?"

Kuon: "You wouldn't understand, my dear Oda. Day by day documents just keep piling up, and before you know it a year passes and they become like that!"

Meito: "A year passes? What?! This is all stuff you should have done before the past school year ended!"

Kuon: "Like I said, my dear Oda, I'm a very busy man!"

Meito: "What exactly are you busy with? This is your damn job!"

Kuon: "No, no, no! My job is a lot more important than handling pieces of paper! I am the soul of this institution, if it weren't for me, everything would fall apart and all the students would be lost in a sea of chaos and destruction!"

Meito: "I still don't understand what you're doing exactly!"

Kuon: "Of course, you can't possibly understand. It's only natural."

Meito: "Forget about it... Hey, Baba! Give me a hand, you're supposed to help too!"

Baba: "What? Me?"

Meito: "Why are you even here for, if not to help?"

Baba: "I figured I'd just sit somewhere and read a manga."

Meito: "Don't make me punch you in the face... "

Kuon: "Calm down! I just saved you from a dire fate, you don't want all my efforts to go to waste!"

Meito: "Then tell that fatass to do his part!"

Baba: "Tch... I'll do it, I'll do it..."

We bring several piles of papers on the table. There's quite a lot, and from the look of it they aren't sorted in any order.

Kuon: "Okay, people! First: you need to make a copy of each document! Second: you need to sort them by class and year! Third: you need to place them each in their respective directories!"

Meito: "Isn't it smarter to sort them first?"

Kuon: "Aaaah! A brilliant idea, my friend! You have talent! You should consider joining the student council!"

Meito: "Thanks, I'll pass..."

Kuon: "Then, let's get to work!"

And so we start. This is really a boring job, no wonder Kubota always postponed it. The bright side is that it doesn't really requires much attention, so at least it isn't tiring.

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