Male Voice: "Wait one moment! If I may, Nagaoka-sensei, I would suggest to avoid any hasty assessments of this particular situation."
A new actor just made his triumphant debut on the scene, and knowing him I'm not sure if I should be happy or worried. The flamboyant guy that just addressed Nagaoka without showing in his tone and actions the least hint of humility is this school's president of the student council, a true oddball among oddballs.
His name is Kuon Kubota and in middle school we even used to be friends. Things however changed about the time we became high schoolers and in the end we practically severed any ties we previously had.
We never happened to be put in the same class and at this point it never will. Not like I really miss him or anything. Don't misunderstand me, he's an okay guy for the most part, but his attitude is really hard to deal with.
He's always been a strange guy, but growing up made him even worse and he started to harbor ambitions he didn't use to have. That led him to become interested in the politics of the school and in the end he managed to get elected as the president of the student council. He can be very persuasive at times, but in most cases it's just that people prefer to agree with him quickly rather than being held in a long conversation with him.
Despite that I heard he's pretty popular and people admire his contagious overconfidence and optimism.
Let's take for example the situation at hand, everyone is decidedly intimidated by Nagaoka and no one would dare to interrupt him. No one... except Kuon Kubota.
Nagaoka: "Kubota, this isn't a matter that pertains you. I will..."
Kuon: "Ooh nooo! No, no, nooo!"
Nagaoka: "W-what... Kubota! Are you interrupting your teacher?!"
Kuon: "Nagaoka-sensei! There's absolutely no such thing as a matter involving students of this school that doesn't pertain the president of the student council: Kuon Kubota!"
Nagaoka: "You... a-hem! Certainly you have a point, Kubota, but as much as your concern is appreciated it's not up to you to decide how to deal with the clear insubordination of two students!"
Kuon: "As you've just said, Nagaoka-sensei! I, Kuon Kubota, recognize that!"
What... does that even mean?
Kuon: "How-ever! That is only true as long as the insubordination you seem to have mistakenly assessed actually took place!"
Nagaoka: "Mistakenly assessed?! Kubota! I have no time to waste, and I won't listen to excuses trying to cover up an obvious fact!"
Kuon: "Obvious fact! Why, my dear Nagaoka-sensei, what is obvious is that my comrades have been victims of unfortunate circumstances that led to this sad misunderstanding!"
Kuon: "It is without doubt that all the circumstantial evidences suggest that these fellows have been fighting! How-ever! Is there any tangible proof? Is there on their bodies any sign that any kind of violence had occurred?!"
Nagaoka: "The facts speak by themselves! The crowd of students that gathered around here and the clamor that could be heard throughout the school is proof that something major happened! And when I arrived on the scene, at the very center of everyone's attention there were none else but Oda and Baba in what was an unequivocal scuffle! I will not believe that they were merely playing around in a friendly manner, especially when it's known that they've been fighting in the past!"
Kuon: "Braaavo, a sound reasoning indeed! How-ever! This is all the result of those unfortunate circumstances that I, Kuon Kubota, from the very beginning tried to bring to light!"
Nagaoka: "Explain yourself, Kubota, and make it quick! My patience is running out."
Kuon: "I will get to the point briefly. The cause of all this commotion is not to be attributed to Oda of 3-A and Baba of 3-D! They were in fact just unrelated passersby that happened to find themselves near someone who was by far more deserving of such universal attention!"
Nagaoka: "You'd better not tell me that it was you, Kubota!"
That was my thought exactly! He's narcissist enough to lie and claim that he gathered everyone's attention just by being here basking in the sun!
Kuon: "Of course not, my dear Nagaoka-sensei! Though I won't deny that it would be indeed pretty logical to assume that it was I, the president of student council, that aroused the school's masses to such extent!
But alas the real center of everyone's attention was... Yuu Azuma!"
What in the world are you thinking, Kuon?! There's no point in saving us if that means using Azuma as a scapegoat!
Nagaoka seems to be quite surprised by such declaration. His attention is suddenly drawn by the ballsy girl who stands not far from us, the way he looks at her tells me that he didn't even notice her until now.
Kuon: "Yes! The reason everyone was focusing on this place was because the school-wide famous and popular Yuu Azuma decided, right here, to confess her eternal love to that girl standing next to her!"
Kuon: "Please, do not make those surprised faces! Love is ubiquitous and knows no limits! It's a flower that can blossom even in the harshest environment! What there is to be so flabbergasted about if it tied two healthy girls who are still in the age of turbulent passions and throbbing hearts?!"
Nagaoka: "Yuu Azuma, Is that true?! Did you confess to that other girl?!"
Yuu: "That's a lie, Nagaoka-sensei! I merely made her acquaintance!"
Nagaoka: "Kubota! What..."
Kuon: "Aaah! The circle finally closes, everything is clear at last!"
Nagaoka: "Uh... aaah?!"
Kuon: "It appears that there wasn't just one misunderstanding, but two! The often worshiped Yuu Azuma was seen talking to a mysterious nameless girl! Instantly rumors about the unusual event spread everywhere! And the more they spread the more they were embellished and exalted! And the more the truth was enhanced the more attraction it lured! Indeed this was a phenomenon not unlike the chain reaction of a nuclear bomb! A meltdown of passions and forbidden loves!"
I just can't believe this guy...
But it seems it's having some kind of effect on Nagaoka. Right now he's holding his head in exasperation as if trying to quench a ferocious headache.
Girl: "By the way, my name is..."
Kuon: "No, mysterious nameless girl! Don't say it!"
Girl: "Eh, why?"
Kuon: "Because a mystery in order to preserve its appeal and beauty must not unveil itself!"
Girl: "Oooh... uh..."
Kuon: "Practicing dangerous sports outside of the designated areas is a gross violation of the school rules! As the president of the student council I demand that Oda and Baba receive an adequate punishment for their thoughtless actions! And I just happen to be in dire need of manual assistance for matters related to my duties. With your consent, Nagaoka-sensei, I intend to make them work the whole day for the student council as a way to repay their crimes by contributing to this noble institution!"
That was actually a smart move. There's no chance that Nagaoka will let us off the hook without a word, but if some kind of punishment is given, in this dubious situation, it might work well for everyone.
The teacher seems to be evaluating the proposal with care. In the end he sighs heavily, a clear sign of resignation. Kuon's preposterous plan worked, I would have never bet on it.
Nagaoka: "I am really not sure what's going on here, and you really tried my patience today, Kubota. I expect that you'll take responsibility for these two delinquents, and I expect you'll show as much determination in straighten them up as you did to defend them."
Kuon: "It goes without saying, my dear Nagaoka-sensei!"
Nagaoka: "Very well..."