Saturday, October 13, 2012

Chapter 4 (j)


Kuon: "Ha ha ha ha! Forgive me, I couldn't properly welcome you into my domain! As you've noticed, I was raptured by Morpheus' sweet embrace, he gifted me with a warrior's rest."

Erika: "I wonder what kind of dangerous battle you've fought so hard to leave you that tired."

Kuon: "Ha ha ha! I will tell you all of my legendary deeds one day, my dear lady! Then... how can I help you today?"

Erika: "Oh, I just had a pleasant chat with your friends. They told me a lot of interesting stuff."

Kuon: "Of course! My friends are all interesting people, just like me!"

Erika: "Indeed, your friends are certainly interesting. Are the student council members elected by popularity vote?"

Kuon: "That's correct, which is why only noble and spiritually elevated persons like us can fill the role."

The sunglasses guy explodes in a fit of laughters.

Erika: "I see, I see... you certainly have an undeserved good reputation. What would everyone think if they knew the truth?"

Kuon: "Ha ha ha! The truth is exactly what they see! There are no secrets nor lies!"

I wonder about that.

Erika: "What about your blatant negligence? I'm sure you're aware of what Teramoto told us yesterday about that abandoned shed."

Kuon: "Aaah, that was certainly a blunder from my part, I intend to take full responsibility like a true gentleman."

Erika: "She said you begged her to keep your mismanagement under wraps. How is that acting like a gentleman? How can you say you're no liar, when not only you lie but also ask others to lie for you?"

Bleached Guy: "She got you, Boss."

Kuon: "Well, what of it? It's but a minor flaw in my outstanding career as the president of this fine institution!"

Erika: "Let's even disregard the fact that you no longer have any reputation of reliability in the teachers' eyes, I suppose you don't even care about that. However, you've been elected by popularity vote, I'm sure you haven't really shown what kind of president you are to your schoolmates, am I right?"

Kuon: "That's absolutely irrelevant."

Erika: "What?"

Kuon: "How is it possible, you ask! The answer is blatantly obvious! The students of this school didn't vote for me on the assumption that I was reliable! They didn't vote for me thinking that I was a good administrator! They didn't vote for me while expecting me to be a boringly meticulous bureaucrat! No! They voted me because I'm handsome! They voted me because I'm cool! They voted me because I'm charismatic! They voted me because I'm a true leader! Such is what the masses truly desire, a superior man that may shine his light on their path, and guide them through the darkness of this world!"

Sunglasses Guy: "Preach it, brother!"

Normal Girl: "So cool! Ha ha ha!"

Glamorous Girl: "So stupid... But he's got a point."

Kuon: "Well, what do you say, my dear lady? Are you surprised?"

What never ceases to surprise me is this guy's absolute lack of shame. Does he even realize how much embarrassing is what he just proclaimed? However, he really has a point, what he said is true. In a popularity vote those who are popular win, it goes without saying. Reliability, responsibility, management skills, in other words the actual qualities that a president of a student council should have, cannot be adequately appraised simply by listening to some talks. So in the end what actually matters is how someone appears, how he looks, how well he can sell himself.

Erika: "I see... I think I understand now."

Kuon: "Have you finally seen the light?"

Erika: "Yes, I think I've got a good picture of your situation, Kubota."

Kuon: "Knowing that I could be of help, fills me with delight."

Erika: "I used to think of you as a completely shameless person, someone who doesn't care at all about what others think about himself, but somehow I felt that something was amiss. You're indeed showing an abnormal disregard for what would ordinarily cause embarrassment and compunction, but to say that you don't mind about your public image would be definitely wrong, wouldn't it? No, I can clearly see it now, you're quite the opposite. Your reputation is very important to you, you just happen to have a distorted perception of what can and cannot harm it."

Kuon: "Ha ha ha! You're quite an interesting woman, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Erika: "Then let me put in a way that your mind can understand. From your perspective you're a cool guy, with a lot of cool friends, with a cool role as the president of the student council. You're important, admired and respected for all that. This is your cool world, too bad it's just a sham."

Kuon: "My dear lady, people are what they appear to be. If I appear to be handsome, it's because I am handsome! If I appear to be cool, it's because I am cool! There are no lies in what everyone can see with their own eyes!"

Erika: "I wonder about that. *giggle* *giggle*"

Kuon: "I see, being skeptical is part of your nature. It's really a pity, but I'll forgive you for that, you can't help it."

Erika: "Now now, that's quite an arrogant attitude you have. Then let's see how do you react to this. There's something fishy about you, Kubota, there's something that isn't quite right. That's why I'm here, I want to figure out what you're hiding, and I will. You know who I am and what my purpose is, how does the fact that I've set my eyes on you make you feel? Maybe you should just come out by yourself, before I get strange ideas, I'm sure you understand what I mean, don't you? I'm giving you this chance, so that you can surrender without a fight. How does that sound, Kubota?"

Kuon: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! My dear lady! Surely you jest! I have nothing to hide, and therefore I have nothing to declare but my manly charm."

Erika: "Good! I guess that means you won't quietly cooperate. Very well, this will be fun."

Kuon: "On the contrary, it is my wish to offer my full cooperation, but I cannot tell what I know nothing about."

Erika: "I see, I understand your position. In that case why don't you try and demonstrate that you aren't just a poser?"

Kuon: "Ha ha ha! That sounds interesting, what do you suggest, my dear lady? Normally merely standing in my presence would be enough, but you're a Doubting Thomas, you cannot simply trust your eyes."

Erika: "Let's see... why don't we play a game?"

Kuon: "A game? Indeed you're a continuous source of surprises! If challenging me in a game is what you desire, then by all means I shall grant your wish. How-ever! Know that my chivalrous code forbids me from going easy on my opponent, that would be disrespectful!"

Erika: "That sounds good, I want to see what you're actually capable of. So, in other words, it must be a game that you excel at."

Kuon: "My dear lady, I excel in almost everything, but if I really have to choose one game, then I'll choose chess, the game of true gentlemen."

Erika: "That sounds pretty good. Very well, Kubota, let's play chess!"

Normal Girl: "Are you sure? Kubota is very good at that game."

Bleached Guy: "Haven't I told you just a while ago? I never won once against him, and I'm quite good myself."

Erika: "That's perfect, I want a demonstration of Kubota's talents after all."

Kuon: "Do you believe you're enough of a good player to test me, my dear lady?"

Erika: "I'm not really that much into chess, but I play it occasionally, I should be fine."

Kuon: "Ha ha ha ha! In that case you can consider this a lesson from a Grand Master! Please, don't feel bad for losing against me!"

Erika: "If you're such a great player, simply winning wouldn't be enough. Do you think you'll be able to impress me with some particularly good strategy?"

Kuon: "I see, this is exactly as you say, what matters is not winning or losing, but playing with elegance!"

Erika: "Indeed, after all this is a test to see what a really cool guy you are! *giggle* *giggle*"

Kuon: "Then I shall make this promise to you, my dear lady! On my honor, I hereby declare that I will defeat you beautifully and graciously!"

Erika: "Good! Let's set up the board!"

Satsukawa: "Ahem... Erika, my have a word with you?"

Erika: "Sure."

Satsukawa takes me aside, and starts questioning me with a low voice.

Satsukawa: "What exactly are you planning to do?"

Erika: "I plan to play a game of chess against Kubota, why?"

Satsukawa: "I'm not asking you about the obvious. Surely we didn't come here just so you could have fun."

Erika: "Actually, that's precisely my intention, but before you get mad, let me add that there's no greater fun for me than solving crimes and digging out bothersome truths that people want to hide."

Satsukawa: "And how does playing chess have anything to do with that? In the first place, winning or losing won't demonstrate a thing."

Erika: "That's exactly as you say, only an idiot would think that I have no ulterior motives."

Satsukawa: "Then what?"

Erika: "Why don't you just relax and enjoy the show? You'll be able to witness something pretty interesting."

Satsukawa: "Well... at least now I'm certain that you aren't just wasting your and my time..."

Dlanor: "Mister Satsukawa, Miss Erika knows what she is doing, I suggest you do as she says. The chess match is just a distraction."

Erika: "Dlanor! Don't spoil him!"

Satsukawa: "Very well... I'll keep observing quietly. Good luck with your game."

Erika: "As if I really needed luck!"

Satsukawa: "But..."

I leave Satsukawa alone with his doubts and walk back to where Kubota is. His two male friends are setting up the board for us.

Erika: "Do you mind if I take the white pieces?"

Kuon: "No problem at all, I prefer to play as black myself."

Erika: "How strange, I thought you fancied yourself as a white knight."

Kuon: "You need to fully embrace the darkness in order to find the light of justice!"

Erika: "Yeah, yeah, whatever..."

Seriously, I am not really that bothered about Kubota's delusions of grandeur, there are quite a lot of people like him. No, that is neither surprising nor particularly unusual. What gets on my nerves is the total inconsistency of his claims. There is absolutely no logic in his glorified background, he just spouts random sentences with no meaning at all, all that matters to him is to sound cool as much as he can.
I sit in front of him, the chessboard is ready, the pieces are neatly aligned in their respective rows.

Erika: "Very well, shall we begin?"