Kuon: "It's quite possible since I'm a very busy man! The whole school's fate lies on my shoulders, just like the planet weights upon Atlas."
Dlanor: "This is a common misconception. In the original myth Atlas was never said to carry the earth on his shoulders."
Baba: "Uhe! The English doll can speak Japanese!"
Erika: "Kubota, according to Satsukawa you've already admitted that you just just left Oda to do the chore alone and that you ditched your duties with an excuse."
Kuon: "Alas! Even heroes can make mistakes, nobody's perfect!"
Erika: "So, do you really have an important duty to attend to or are you just using the same excuse again?"
Kuon: "My dear lady! Just because I've lost to the dark side once, it doesn't mean that that's what I usually do! You shouldn't judge a book by its cover!"
Erika: "No, I think in this case I'm judging the book by its contents."
Kuon: "But what a few misinterpreted lines can tell you about the true value of a book? You should read it from start to end to really reach a judgment! That's what I think! Oh, if I just had the time to make you know me better! But alas I'm a very busy man and I must depart!"
Erika: "I'm sure your duties are used to wait, they can wait a little more. There's one thing I don't quite understand, Kubota. You don't need to explain why you didn't want to do a boring job, I think that's pretty understandable, albeit not commendable."
Kuon: "I rejoice in learning that you can understand my plight! Being so overburdened by duties, it's only natural that I'd want to escape from them once in a while, it's a matter of survival! I must preserve my sanity!"
Satsukawa: "You're losing that battle."
Erika: "But, like I said, there's one thing that I don't understand."
Kuon: "Ask and you shall receive, my dear lady!"
Erika: "When you left Oda by himself, you told him that you were busy elsewhere, right?"
Kuon: "Indeed, that's a pretty credible story, I'm always busy elsewhere!"
Erika: "But in spite of what you said, you really just planned to leave the school, right? I want to make sure this point is correct."
Kuon: "It pains me to admit it, but that's what happened! I'm not proud of that!"
Erika: "Sooo... why did Baba come with you?"
Kuon: "Ahahahahaha! But of course, of course! My dear lady! Of course! You see... Baba also didn't want to work, in his case that's to be expected! In the end you just need to look at the cover to judge a book!"
Erika: "I'm quite sure that Baba didn't want to stay there any more than you wanted, but that goes for Oda as well. The question here is why when you left with an excuse you decided to bring Baba along."
Kuon: "Who said that I did that? Baba just came up with his own excuse!"
Erika: "Funny, because that's not what Oda told me."
Kuon: "Ha ha ha ha! The poor Oda! He certainly received a big shock that day, it's no wonder that his memories are all jumbled up!"
Erika: "Oda told me that you specifically requested Baba to go with you so that he could help you with your... duties..."
Kuon: "Sigh... it's such a tragedy, to think that Oda's mind would be that affected by the loss of his childhood friend!"
Erika: "Then what kind of excuse did you come up with, Baba?"
Baba: "Who knows... I don't remember..."
Kuon: "Every excuse is fine for Baba!"
Erika: "Let's backtrack a little, Kubota. I've been told that both Baba and Oda got themselves in trouble with Nagaoka-san, and I've been told that it was you that saved them from a more severe disciplinary action."
Kuon: "My! That's absolutely correct! But my modesty prevents me from bragging about my heroic deeds! Ah, such an awesome and perfect savior I am!"
Satsukawa: "He's bragging..."
Baba: "Yeah, he's bragging..."
Erika: "Why exactly you'd expose yourself that much, Kubota?"
Kuon: "But why! That's what a true hero would do. That's what I do! It's part of my nature and my destiny!"
Erika: "You didn't really do that for Oda's sake didn't you?"
Kuon: "Of course not! I mean... it doesn't matter who it was, I'd always rescue a fellow companion who found himself in trouble!"
Erika: "And yet you're here now and you're disciplining Baba, or so you say. Rules are rules, so you said. What about the rules that Baba and Oda broke that day? What are the reasons behind your apparent inconsistent behavior. Please explain, Kubota."
Kuon: "My dear lady! There are reasons that reason itself cannot comprehend! It's all a matter of faith and of what you feel deep inside your heart! It makes sense, it doesn't make sense... that doesn't mean anything at all! Foolish is the man who wish to comprehend the youth spirit with reason alone! It's not about understanding, it's about feeling! Embrace the mystery!"
Erika: "I see... so this is you answer, Kubota. It's all a mystery, is it?"
Kuon: "Precisely! I'm glad you understand!"
Erika: "That's perfect. Indeed, I couldn't ask for anything better. Because I happen to love mysteries, and my favorite pastime... is to break them apart, until nothing of them remains..."
Kuon: "Ugh... noooo! The beauty of a mystery lies in its mysteriousness! If you reveal the truth behind a mystery..."
Erika: "I don't care! A beautiful mask cannot hide its rotten core! It doesn't matter if it looks good, a fake is a fake and must be destroyed. Lies are lies, there are no good or bad ones, they must be erased. If you think I can be distracted by anything that isn't the truth, you're sorely mistaken, Kubota!"
Kuon: "Ahahahaha! My dear lady... you're... aha... ahahahaha!"
Erika: "Aaaah, it's fine! Let's leave it at that, for now. It was really entertaining, Kubota, let's have another discussion some other time. What do you say?"
Suddenly this loud boy is lost for words and that is really a pleasant change.
It takes a few seconds before he finally manages to put his acts together.
Kuon: "Of course! Of course! I'll surely manage to find a bit of free time so that you may indulge yourself in my company again, but I warn you that you're not the only woman that craves my attention! Such is the fate of a handsome man!"
Erika: "I'll be delighted."
Kuon: "Ha ha ha ha! Well then, if you'll excuse me..."
Erika: "Sure, you can go."
Baba: "Uh... you're letting him go?"
Erika: "Yes, is there a problem, Baba?"
Baba: "Uh... no... then I'll go too..."
Kuon: "Au revoir, madame! Until we meet again!"
Kubota bows. He is trying hard to show his usual flamboyant behavior, but I can tell he is not as secure as he was before. I know he really wants to get away as fast as he can from me.
I let him take a few steps and then I stop him.
Erika: "Aaah! Forgive me, Kubota, just another little question."
Kuon: "Ha... ha ha ha! I know it's difficult to part with me, my dear lady, but..."
Erika: "What can you tell me about Maaya Teramoto?"
Kuon: "Maaya Teramoto! What couldn't I tell about her glorious deeds indeed? It'll probably take hours to say everything I know about her!"
Erika: "She really is a famous person in this school."
Kuon: "Of course, she's not as famous as me, but yes you can say that!"
Erika: "But apart from her fame, do you know something about her from first hand experience?"
Kuon: "First hand experience! What exactly are you implying, my dear lady?!"
Baba: "She's asking if you know her personally, dumbass."
It seems that this Baba is a lot less stupid than he looks. He is still a disgusting pig, but there is some brain inside that thick skull. I feel pity for those many little grey cells being all used for his dirty thoughts.
Kuon: "Oooh! As the president of this fine institution it is my duty to personally talk to every single student at least once!"
Erika: "What a wonderful dedication. So I take it you know everyone in this school."
Kuon: "Naturally, my dear lady!"
Erika: "Then you know Junko Andou."
Kuon: "Junko Andou, of course, I know her!"
Erika: "If you know her, what can you tell me about her?"
Kuon: "Ooh, she's quite a nice girl! But I can't tell her secrets, that's confidential!"
Erika: "A nice girl... do you really know her?"
Kuon: "Every girl is nice and beautiful to my eyes!"
Erika: "Even Satoko Houjou?"
Kuon: "Aaah, the sweet Satoko!"
Erika: "You know Satoko Houjou?"
Kuon: "Like I said, my dear lady, there isn't a single student in this school that I don't remember! That includes Satoko Houjou of course!"
Erika: "Please, describe me this Satoko Houjou, *giggle* *giggle*"
Kuon: "She's a wonderful girl, that's all that I'll say, for a gentleman should not speak too much!"
Baba: "Then you ain't a gentleman."
Erika: "This is truly amazing!"
Kuon: "I know, you don't need to flatter me!"
Erika: "Amazing indeed... To think that I just came up with a random name, and it appears that a Satoko Houjou actually exists in this school! What would be the chances of that? *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*"
I see Kubota freezing on the spot. Does he even understand who is he dealing with? I hope this will serve as a little lesson. I have not met such a shameless liar in ages. He really has guts acting so carelessly in front of me.
Baba: "Pfft... muhehehehe!"
Kuon: "Ha! Ahahahaha! What an incredible coincidence!"
Erika: "Amazing, isn't it? *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*"
Kuon: "Ha ha ha ha!"
Erika: "*giggle* *giggle* *giggle*"
Kuon: "Aaaaaah! How late it is! I must really go now!"
Erika: "Yes... I believe you do..."
Kuon: "Ha ha ha... see you again!"
He hurriedly runs away. What a fraud.
The fatass grunts something and leaves as well.
Once we are alone again, Satsukawa, who has been silent for almost the whole conversation, finally speaks his mind.
Satsukawa: "In the end he didn't tell us a single thing. What was inside that bag, what was he doing here, why did he left with Baba on that day, why did he went the trouble to protect him and Oda, what does he know about Teramoto. He always finds a way to weasel his way out of troublesome questions, and he always manages to distract you by changing subject all the time. He's really an irritating guy"
Erika: "He's certainly an interesting person, but he's little more than an amateur. I give him a bonus point for being particularly creative and one for being so histrionic, that's all."
Satsukawa: "You don't really seem to be frustrated about his lack of answers at all..."
Erika: "Why should I? He may be a pathological liar and a very uncooperative guy, but his lies aren't well conceived, and once you'll show him the proof that you know he isn't telling the truth, he'll break apart and confess. Didn't you manage to make him admit that he lied about his inexistent duties on the day of the crime?"
Satsukawa: "Well, he couldn't really deny the undeniable..."
Erika: "Interesting, according to your definition of a 'true criminal', he should have."
Satsukawa: "He wasn't exactly accused of murder, he probably thought that there wasn't much harm in admitting his lies."
Erika: "True enough. At any rate, for what concerns the mysterious contents of that bag, maybe the hint they so graciously left for us will clarify our doubts."
Satsukawa: "Uh... a hint?"
Erika: "Learn from a true detective, Satsukawa-san: observe! Observe every small detail!"
I move to the same place where Kubota stood when he wast talking with me.
Erika: "Do you see anything? Nothing at all? Look! Observe! Check your surroundings!"
Erika: "Ha ha ha! Oh, don't take it that bad, Satsukawa-san, not everyone can be a great detective like me. That's fine, that's fine, you're just a regular investigator from the MPD. *giggle* *giggle*"
Satsukawa: "... What am I supposed to notice now..."
Erika: "Is it frustrating, Satsukawa-san? Do you want some more time?"
Satsukawa: "Aaah! Damn you, Erika! Sometimes you really are... you really are..."
Erika: "Yes? I really am... what? *giggle* *giggle*"
Satsukawa: "Sigh... nevermind... you've had your fun, just tell me what you noticed."
Erika: "Sure, I'll do that."
I kneel down and I pick a colored piece of paper that was half hidden in the grass.
Satsukawa squints his eyes, he probably didn't think this was anything more than garbage. He silently moves to my side and we both examine the hint that I just retrieved.
Satsukawa: "It's a..."
Erika: "It's a bookmark. It's not unusual to get this kind of things as bonuses when you purchase something from a bookstore."
Satsukawa: "You mean... Baba had just bought those doujinshi recently?"
Erika: "Oh, I'm quite sure of that."
Satsukawa: "And this fell off the bag... when?"
Erika: "Since before we interrupted them, or maybe right on that time."
Satsukawa: "If you didn't see it falling, how did you know this came from that bag?"
Erika: "I'm quite sure you can tell just by looking that this bookmark is definitely related to what was inside the bag. I think that Kubota was browsing the doujinshi in front of Baba and that's when it fell."
Satsukawa: "Okay, there's no question about that, now that we can both inspect this bookmark closely, but how did you see it so clearly while it was in the middle of the grass?"
Erika: "Oh, that's partly because of my superior eyesight and partly because of my deductive skills. These colors are way too bright, it was unlikely that this was just old garbage."
Satsukawa: "I... see..."
Satsukawa stares intently at the character depicted on the bookmark with a very perplexed expression.
Satsukawa: "So... is this... guro? Futanari?"
Erika: "Ha ha ha ha! No, Satsukawa-san, I think that Kubota made that up to discourage us from looking inside the bag."
Satsukawa: "Why would he want to hide it from us, if it was something that he confiscated from Baba?"
Erika: "That's a very good question."
Satsukawa: "Hmmm... who's this little girl anyway? Fuwa-fuwa... purin... nyan?"
Dlanor: "It's a very popular show with a cast of several magical girls called fuwa-fuwa that fight against the evil empire of the kira-kira and the insidious hira-hira. Fuwa-fuwa purin nyan is the main character, but that's actually her name as a fuwa-fuwa princess, in her everyday life she is just an ordinary middle school student called..."
Erika: "That's enough info, Dlanor."
Satsukawa: "Hmmm... isn't this... the kind of show that little girls watch?"
Erika: "You'd be surprised..."